We all have them, that missing sock that we look forever for but can never find. We save the remaining sock just in case but in your heart, you know you’ll never find it. Well today is the day to take those single socks (You know you have a number of them) take them out in the backyard and bury them. Think of the room you’ll save and finally letting go of those socks that have baffled you for so long. Let it go! Let it go! Let that lonely old sock go.
How to celebrate – Gather up your lost socks. Stop looking for those missing socks. Go buy new socks to make yourself feel better.
Today is a sad day indeed, it is the day we finally give up on finding those socks lost to the never-never land we all fear every time we do laundry. Of course, the sock may already be lost before we get to the laundry but without an APB we have no way of knowing that.
I’m pretty sure there are those socks that just run away, and can you blame them! Imagine hanging out with foot odor all day! Toe nail fungus, bunions, always being the heel of the joke… it has to be awful! I am told if you get up at just the right time and look out your window, you can see a bevy of socks running down the street, who knows where they are headed, how they will get there or what they will become… it’s all about the escape.
Then there are the sock thieves to contend with as well. Those semi-invisible creatures that come in the middle of the night and steal your socks right out of the hamper. The only thing I do not understand about them is, why don’t they take both socks!?! Maybe one is good enough for the fix they need but they could store them up like squirrels do nuts for winter.
And of course, there are those thieves that live among us in plain daylight. Here I can understand the theft of one sock. I mean, one sock is nearly as big as they are so it probably last for a long time. Next time you are missing a sock look in the bottom of your litter box… or on second thought, just let it go.
So take your remaining, useless sock out in the back yard and give it a proper burial. Naturally, it will come back and haunt you but you will have done the proper thing. After all, what good is one sock unless you save them for mismatched sock day.
How to celebrate – Give your socks names so you can call for them when one is missing. General waiting time for lost socks to return is two years. Don’t even wear socks, but buy odor eaters for your shoes.
Where do they go? Why do they leave? Didn’t we provide a good home for them? Didn’t we make them feel useful? What did we do wrong?
And it always seems to be our most favorite that we lose one of. They were just there, we wanted to give them a bath (because we all feel better after a bath) and they disappeared. So sad, never to be seen again. Or if they do reappear they come back years later after their mate has moved on.
I knew a young lady who never wore matching socks. I think it started when she could not find a matching sock in her sock drawer but it eventually became her trademark, her style. In fact she wore matching socks one day and everyone wondered what was wrong! It gave her an identity and made her popular. Eventually it led to mismatch outfits just like her socks. Soon everyone around her started copying her and a trend was started!
But still, you have to wonder where that sock went! I mean, if you have a dog maybe they carried it off somewhere but even my dog wants nothing to do with my used socks (can’t blame her!).
Oh well, we may never know. It does make you want to buy all one color socks in the exact same style of each other so that even if you lose one what is left will still match something. But in memorial, take that remaining sock and bury it in the backyard with a proper memorial commemorating it’s long lost mate and add a “footnote” about they life they shared.
How to celebrate – Go to your sock drawer and search for your one-offs. Frame your favorite one sock left behind and hang it on the wall. Go ahead and form your mismatched sock wardrobe.
Some say that socks just can’t stand still, they always have to be afoot, and those left alone for too long just run away… but just one of them. The other sock remains at home to remind you of what could have been. We all know that is just made up to save children from the horrors of “The Sock Monster”.
The Sock Monster is blue, furry, and wears a pointy hat. It hangs out in low places, waiting to make its move when no one is looking and then escapes with one sock, mocking you by leaving the other behind. It is a dangerous creature, often hiding under beds, in closets or in the dark shadowy corners of a room.
It is your constant searching for that missing sock, and the refusal to give up on it, that feeds the monster. He will return over and over again to repeat his thievery until he has left you only one of each sock you have ever owned.
The only way you can defeat him is to take your saddened, single socks out into the back yard and either burn them, or bury them, forgetting them forever. By doing this you remove the “Sock Monster’s” power over you. But never, and we mean never, just throw that sock way as it will come back and haunt you forever.
How to celebrate: Go through your sock drawer removing every single sock and disposing of it. Go through all your socks and write left on each of them as this will confuse the sock monster thinking that all the right side socks have already been removed. Check under the bed, in the corners of the room and in the closet to make sure the Sock Monster is not hiding there.